Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Being Grateful and Letting Go

Sometimes I get so caught up in aspiring to have things I want and don't yet have that I lose sight of how great the things are that I have already. I charge full speed ahead like a bull seeing red at what I think will get me to where I want to be and I'm in a constant chase for things I really have no control over. Admitting I have no control is a hard feat but accepting it, is far more difficult. I'm (slowly) learning to accept that I simply can't control everything, to let go and let God deal with my future and to relax and appreciate the blessings He has already so richly blessed me with.

We all have moments now and then when we want something SO bad we do everything in our power to aim towards it, even though most of the time, we have no control of whether or not we obtain said thing. There had been things in my life I'd already wanted but finding out I was pregnant felt like it put a time line on every goal. I've been so busy trying to make the impossible happen that I'm spending more time feeling depressed, stressed and frustrated than I am enjoying my pregnancy and my sweet loved ones I am so blessed with. 

I'm stubbornly learning to hand complete control over to God because I know, whatever he has in store for me is far greater than anything I can dream up for myself. It's hard to be patient and wait for things to fall into place when you feel like you have an impending deadline (due date) hovering over your head. Sure, I feel like it would be more convenient to have all the things I'd like to have and all my goals accomplished by the time baby arrives but perhaps God sees what I cannot. 

I often want things all at once, for everything to happen NOW, because I am not a fan of waiting but I realize (unfortunately) things aren't always like that.

It's been an incredible wake up call realizing I have zero control-- no matter how hard it is to admit! I'm learning patience, appreciation and most of all, faith

I plan to take each day at a time, appreciating even the little blessings in my life, because there are so many things I have that others would love to have. I am richly blessed, but I will never be able to enjoy those blessings unless I allow myself to. 

WE determine our own happiness.

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